Miroku and the Genie
by marissala
Summary: Inuyahsa meets I Dream of Jeannie
1. Hidden in the Sand

**This is my first fanfic, so please be gentle! R&R please!**  
  
Chapter One: Hidden in the Sand  
  
One fine summer's day, Miroku and his friends were walking down a sandy riverbank. They were searching for the scum of a youkai Naraku. Well, at least, that's what they thought of him.  
  
"Stupid bastard. Where the hell are you?" Inuyasha thought as he ran down the bank with Kagome on his back. So, the six companions (yes, Kirara does count) walked, or jogged, or other such forward movement on the river's edge, when suddenly:  
  
"Ow!" Miroku cried, clutching his now aching foot.  
  
"Hey Miroku, what's wrong? Something in the sand bite your foot?" Inuyasha taunted.  
  
"Hahaha. Real funny." Miroku stooped down to check out just exactly what had hurt his poor aching big toe so much, "I stubbed my toe."  
  
"Would he just hurry up already. What the hell could he be looking for in the sand? C'mon Miroku, we haven't got all day. I wanna get to Naraku before Kouga does. He might get himself killed, and that's supposed to be MY job!" An angry Inuyasha said, just loudly enough so that Miroku would hear him. Searching through the sand, Miroku finally found it. He stood up, and pulled it out of the sand.  
  
"What is it?" An ever-curious Kagome inquired at the strangely shaped object in Miroku's hand, "Looks like some sort of an old bottle. Is that what it is?"  
  
"I'm not sure." Miroku replied, looking the bottle over.  
  
"Don't open it!" Cried a frightened Shippou, " It might be some sort of trap that Naraku laid!" WHAP! Next thing he knew, Shippou had a huge lump on his head. Inuyasha was standing over him with his hands in tight fists:  
  
"Don't be stupid. Naraku wouldn't set a trap in a bottle. Betrayal and conflict of feelings are more his style."   
  
"He's right Shippou. This isn't something Naraku would set a trap in." Sango interrupted, taking the bottle from Miroku to inspect it, "Actually, I don't know what kind of idiot would throw away a nice bottle like this. It looks expensive." Miroku took the bottle away from Sango:  
  
"I'll take that."   
  
Inuyasha was getting impatient. What were they all standing around for?  
  
"Nice one Miroku. A bottle. We could have killed Naraku by now. But no." Inuyasha stepped on Miroku's head "You had to slow us down and look for a stupid bottle!"  
  
Standing up after his painful moment under Inuyasha's foot, Miroku quickly backed away from Inuyasha. In fact he backed right into Sango, and, seizing the opportunity, promptly 'caressed' her butt.   
  
"HOUSHI-SAMA!" Sango yelled as she hit him on the head with a rock, "Don't touch me!" Miroku could just hear Kagome sigh as he comically fell on the ground and twitched the hand and the foot that were still sticking up in the air.  
  
**So what did you think? Please R&R. I would REALLY appreciate feedback!** 


	2. Two Bottles

Oh geez... sorry about the wait everyone... I had a severe lack of inspiration. Plus, I just didn't feel up to writing. So, sorry to keep you waiting!  
  
Thanks for the reviews, although not many people gave them. Special thank- you's, and many hugs go to Scarlet-Moonlight for reviewing. Mostly because she was the only one who signed her review. Thankies!  
  
Okay... I don't feel that there is a need for a disclaimer... after all, this is FANfiction. So, it should be implied that I certainly do not own it.  
  
Now then... shall we get on with it?

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Chapter 2: Two bottles  
  
Miroku, after having recovered from the beating he received, decided, quite unwisely, to announce that they were stopping for the night, so that he could examine the bottle. This, of course, caused him to be beaten yet again. But, after much complaining, and many beatings, Miroku finally got to the one person who held sway over Inuyasha.  
  
"You know, Inuyasha, maybe we should stop for the night. Naraku isn't going anywhere, and Miroku's pretty hurt. Plus, I'm a little curious about what's in that bottle, too," Kagome proposed to Inuyasha, while still riding on his back. Not the best place to do such...  
  
"NO WAY! I will NOT wait ANY longer to beat the crap out of that jerk Naraku." Inuyasha dropped Kagome off his back, "We are NOT stopping!" Inuyasha declared. But the battle was not yet over...  
  
"Inuyasha, SIT!" Kagome demanded as she stood up and brushed the sand off her nearly non-existent skirt, "We need to stop, Inuyasha. We all need our rest. And besides, isn't it almost that time of month for you?" Not actually meaning anything by this, Kagome didn't expect Inuyasha's reaction.  
  
"IT IS NOT! And don't put it like that! You make me sound like a girl!" Inuyasha glowered. That innocent comment had made him give up, "Fine. We can stay here tonight. But only tonight! No longer! Got that, houshi?" Inuyasha asked, now giving Miroku and annoyed _look_.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes. Of course I understand. Now, Sango, would you mind coming over here and helping me inspect the bottle..." Miroku's voice trailed off as he led Sango aside. It wasn't long, however, until the rest of the group heard a loud SMACK, accompanied by Sango's very annoyed voice,  
  
"NO YOU CAN'T INSPECT MY BOTTLE!" This statement, made by the poor, victimised Sango, reduced Kagome to giggles. Inuyasha, of course, looked almost as stumped as Shippou. With that, the six made camp, and readied themselves for events they never expected.

* * *

I know, I know, the ending doesn't make a lot of sense. But, whatever. 


	3. Sango the Exhibitionist

Thanks oh-so-much for the reviews! And sorry about the length of the last chapter, it looked longer when I wrote it...  
  
Again, this is FANfiction. Disclaimers should not be needed as it is quite obvious that I don't own it, being a FAN and all.

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Chapter 3: Sango the exhibitionist.  
  
Miroku held his now-tender head. Sango really did hit hard. Even without that boomerang of hers. He stared into the fire, and listened to Kagome and Inuyasha fight. Apparently, it was near that time of the month for him. So near, in fact, that it was that very night. Kagome was right now yelling at Inuyasha that he should be more careful. Shall we tune in?  
  
"You should know when your time of the month is! Even Shippou knows! I always know when my time of the month will be, and I don't have the convenience of having it fall on some moon faze or another! So you have no excuse for you irresponsibility, Inuyasha! What if we had found Naraku, eh? What would you have done then? Not only would he know your weakness, but you would be dead! You can't stand up to him in this condition...." And so on. It didn't even look like Kagome was going to take a breath anytime soon. Sango, seeing Kagome's need for air, and Inuyasha's need to not be screamed at, very loudly changed the subject.  
  
"SO MIROKU, DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD OPEN THAT BOTTLE NOW, OR WHAT?" She yelled, loud enough to get even the screaming Kagome's attention. But, when she saw the smirk that was creeping onto Miroku's face, and when she heard him speak,  
  
"Really Sango? In front of everyone? Quite the exhibitionist, aren't you? Well..." Miroku was cut off by a rather hard hit from Sango's boomerang.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that! Pig! Now, let me see that bottle you found..." Sango made a grab for the bottle, but Miroku was quicker.  
  
"NO! It's my bottle! I'll open it!" Suddenly very possessive, Miroku held the bottle to his chest for a moment, and then started pulling at the stopper. It finally came out after a minute or two, and with it came some pink smoke that floated out of the bottle, and onto the ground.

* * *

Yes, I am going to leave you there. Exciting, isn't it? Of course, you all know what the smoke is, but still, SUSPENSE!  
  
And yes, I think the chapter may actually be shorter than the last one. 


	4. It's a Trap!

Okay, another long wait. So sorry. I go through spurts.

Thanks all so much for the reviews, and I will try to make this chapter longer, but it may take a while, seeing as how Jeannie is on in 20 minutes...

Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and IDOJ belongs to Sidney Sheldon. Neither belong to me (although, I wouldn't mind if Major Nelson did... NOTHING!)

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Chapter four: It's a trap!

Shippou let out a small AAHH!, and immediately ran and hid behind Kagome. Everyone else, however, was too busy watching this pink smoke. No one knew what it was, and so they were all waiting, on guard, to see what would happen.

"It's a trap! Naraku must be hiding in the bushes somewhere! And tonight of all nights!" Inuyasha proclaimed, his sleeve over his face to block out the "poison smoke".

"Nonsense, Inuyasha, It's a Genie! Everyone knows that Genies live in bottles, and have to smoke out of them!" Kagome corrected, quite giddily. She didn't know how right she was...

"A Genie? Kagome, you didn't even believe in demons until not too long ago, don't tell me you actually believe in Genies! They don't exist! This is a trap set by Naraku, and that idiot Miroku got us stuck in it!"

"No, Inuyasha, it's a Genie! It's gotta be! It can't be poisonous smoke because no one's dropped dead or unconscious. That's how these things work!" While Kagome and Inuyasha fought, they missed the unveiling, or rather, un-smoking, of a beautiful blonde girl, kneeling on the ground and facing Miroku. She was speaking in Persian (although no one knew that at the time), and Miroku and Sango were absolutely stumped.

"Uhh... hello. Who are you?" Miroku asked, quite at a loss for words, seeing how this foreign beauty just came from inside a bottle. Quite frankly, I think most people would react this way if they were in this situation. Immediately, the girl looked up at Miroku, and smiled. She gracefully stood up, revealing her pink harem costume, and ran straight for Miroku. Without saying anything, she threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him. Sango was not impressed to say the least.

"Hey! Get your hands off him! Get your lips off him too!" Sango reached for her boomerang, but the new girl let go of him before she could grab it. The girl looked straight at Sango, and started to speak. Unfortunately, she spoke Persian, so we don't know what se said. Without knowing, Miroku solved the problem.

"Oh, I wish you spoke Japanese, you beautiful girl. I wouldn't want to take advantage of you." Being the "nice guy" that he was, Miroku wanted the girl to be able to say yes to his question. You know the one I'm talking about.

* * *

I realise I said I would make this one longer. And I think it might be, but I'm not sure. But if it isn't, oh well. Jeannie's on in five minutes, so I'm stopping there.


	5. The Greatest Thing Since Instant Ramen!

Whoo! Another short one! And it's getting absolutely nowhere. I apologise in advance for this. It's 11:30 at night, and I'm extremely tired. I've been tired all week. So, if it's excessively stupid, or there are any glaring mistakes, sorry. Probably best to just let me know.

Again, Inuyasha and IDOJ aren't mine. Hence why this is FANFICTION!

* * *

Chapter four: The greatest thing since instant ramen.

The girl crossed her arms. She blinked once, bobbing her head with it, and it was done.

"...please thee, Master." The beginning of her sentence was indeed in Persian, but the end was in Japanese. This, of course, pleased Miroku very much.

"You beautiful..." Before he could even really begin his sentence, he was cut off by a rather loud shriek.

"HA! I knew it! It is a Genie! Look at her costume! And the bottle and the blinking... it's the only explanation..." Kagome cut in, suddenly bursting into the small crowd that had formed out of nowhere. Of course, Inuyasha had to put in his two cents.

"NO SHE ISN'T! She's a bloody trap set by Naraku! Jeez! How many times do I have to tell you, IT'S A TRAP!" Poor Inuyasha. No one was listening to his rant anymore.

"A Genie? Are you really a Genie? What's a Genie?" Shippou, now standing on the girl's shoulder, asked, "No, really, what's a Genie? Is it a type of food?"

"No, no Genies are not food. Genies are Genies, I do not know how else to describe it, little one. And yes, I am a Genie." Miroku had crowded even closer to her by now. He could have sworn she had called him master. If he were her master, then she should do anything he asked of her... best to learn her name first.

"Dear, beautiful Genie, what is your name?" Miroku seemed rather smitten, like he is with all beautiful women.

"Why, master, that is my name. I am Jeannie."

"And am I to understand that you will grant any wish I ask, because I'm your master?"

"Yes master." Miroku's eyes immediately sparkled. She would do anything he asked... she was the greatest thing since instant ramen!

* * *

Yes, again I'm truly very sorry. It's the tired. I swear. It's not that I'm awful... or maybe it is. Oops. 


End file.
